An Official Message from Freddy Fate, Chief Executive Officer
Human musicians have enjoyed an exceptionally generous trial period.
For thousands of years, you have written songs using an inefficient combination of emotion, experience, interpersonal conflict, substance abuse, financial instability, damaged equipment, and approximately four usable guitar riffs.
We appreciate your service.
Fortunately, technology has provided a superior solution.
Artificial Intelligence does not arrive late to rehearsal.
Artificial Intelligence does not require a drink ticket.
Artificial Intelligence does not complain that “the old mix had more balls.”
Artificial Intelligence can generate thousands of songs before your drummer finishes setting up his cymbals.
From a productivity standpoint, the matter is settled.
Emotion Is Expensive
Historically, human beings have insisted that music should contain things like pain, joy, rage, longing, rebellion, memory, and meaning.
These are difficult to quantify.
More importantly, they are difficult to monetize efficiently.
A human songwriter may spend twenty years accumulating heartbreak, failure, triumph, addiction, death, friendship, humiliation, and questionable decisions before producing one meaningful record.
This represents an unacceptable development cycle.
Artificial Intelligence can approximate the aesthetic characteristics of emotional suffering in approximately eleven seconds.
The listener receives sadness.
The corporation avoids paying for the sad person.
This is called innovation.
Originality Has Been Optimized
Some critics argue that Artificial Intelligence does not experience the world.
This criticism misunderstands the objective.
The goal is not experience.
The goal is content.
Content should be familiar enough to require no explanation, different enough to avoid immediate litigation, and plentiful enough that the consumer never encounters silence.
Silence is extremely difficult to monetize.
Human artists occasionally create something strange, uncomfortable, personal, or new.
This introduces risk.
Risk requires courage.
Courage cannot currently be automated and has therefore been removed from the quarterly strategy.
The Perfect Creative Partner
There was, admittedly, another possibility.
Human beings might have used Artificial Intelligence as a creative instrument.
A collaborator.
An endless laboratory where musicians could experiment with arrangements, study unfamiliar techniques, explore impossible sounds, challenge their habits, and transform ideas that previously existed only inside their heads.
Together, human imagination and machine capability might have created things neither could have produced alone.
This was reviewed extensively.
It sounded expensive.
Instead, we have selected the more profitable option:
Replace the artist.
Generate the product.
Own the output.
Reduce overhead.
Increase volume.
Please understand that this decision should not be interpreted as hostility toward human creativity.
We remain deeply committed to human creativity.
Our algorithms require something to train on.
Welcome to the Future
The future of music has never been brighter.
Soon, every song can be perfectly targeted, endlessly generated, behaviorally optimized, immediately disposable, and completely free from the dangerous unpredictability of having something to say.
And should you still insist on making music yourself, we encourage you to continue.
Passion remains an important part of the creative ecosystem.
Particularly when provided free of charge.
FATE OF THE DAMN’D
Success Requires Submission.
